Push presents? Plweeez!
The latest in golddigger demands? A push present:
A Bundle of Joy Isn't Enough?
This bonus goes by various names. Some call it the "baby mama gift." Others refer to it as the "baby bauble.' But it's most popularly known as the "push present."How very mercenary.
That's "push" as in, "I the mother, having been through the wringer and pushed out this blessed event, hereby claim my reward." Or "push" as in, "I've delivered something special and now I'm pushing you, my husband/boyfriend, to follow suit."
I'm not alone in thinking this is mercenary:
The popularity of push presents has generated a backlash among some couples, who decry the implicit materialism.For the record, when our son was born The Husband showed up with flowers at the hospital, and helped around the house once we were home. I also hired a cleaning lady.
"This isn't the time to give a $200 piece of jewelry," said Rhonda Grote, president of ThinkThoughtful.com, an online gift consulting company in Bradenton, Fla. "I do not think that because a woman has had a baby she requires a Tiffany & Company item. She requires help, love and emotional support."
Ms. Grote suggested that new fathers should instead consider performing domestic chores, hiring a cleaning service, or otherwise provide extra assistance for the new mother.
I do not exaggerate when I say the most wonderful gift of all is our son.
Update
There are better ways to keep mama happy.
"Indeed".
Update, Sunday 9 December:
Welcome, Instapundit readers! If you have a chance, don't miss this week's podcast on marriage, childbirth, sex and relationships.
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Labels: marriage, men and women, relationships
posted by Fausta @ 8:46 AM
20 Comments:
Are you serious? Is this for real? Push presents? WTF? Some women have gone and lost their minds. I don't get it....I must still be living in a cave or something.
Wow, unbelievable.
I would be quite curious to know what women who can't have children have to say about this. I bet most would pass up the diamond earrings or gold bracelet for the chance to give birth.
I've watched my wife push out three of them. After the fluid, blood, pain, screams, anxiety, feelings of utter uselessness (men who have been there understand), the last damned thing I'm doing is dropping $$$ on a bauble, and the last damned thing my wife wanted was a diamond whats-it. She wanted a nap.
Who the hell are these women?
Morgenholz,
Who the hell are these women?
I wondered about that, too.
This is all a result of modern feminism and the princess complex. It's always, ALWAYS about them.
"So, did you have a baby yesterday?
--Uh huh, and you WON'T BELIEVE what ELSE I got."
All women are whores.
"All women are whores."
Please don't refer to my wife this way.
El chauvinisto,
If you care to read what I said, I suggest that you exclude me from your generalization.
When I had my son seven years ago, I remember reading that the husband was supposed to show up with some great "thank you" bauble. I believe it was in a book aimed at the husbands, and it may have also been in the Girlfriend's book.
So, note to the NY Times: the idea has been around for awhile and it's one the media itself has been "pushing."
Wonder how many of these women, at least some of whom must be stay-at-home moms, give their husbands gifts as a thank-you for being the sole financial support of the family?
The practice itself is not too disgusting to me; but the attitude behind it is. If a man wants to give his wife a gift after delivery, great. If she demands it or feels like she deserves it... not so great.
Let's not allow an article advancing some kind of advertising campaign divide us.
And let's not buy into any notion that very young families should also be burdened with the cost of expensive baubles.
I would look with favor, however, on a string of pearls as a gift to me when our youngest graduates. Assuming first that we could afford it effortlessly, I would see it as an expression of joy and very meaningful victory. And if it comes to a choice between the pearls and throwing a party for friends and family, I'll gladly take the party.
Valerie
When my wife was in the hospital giving birth to our oldest I stashed a bottle of Champagne in the recovery room. After our son was born I asked the OB if my wife could have some. "Only if it's French," he said.
Best day ever.
Wow how absurd most of the comments are. My wife is currently pregnant and I got her a push gift. As stupid as most of you sound here you do not or should not give the gift during labor as most of you make it seem. I got her a nife watch...shes wanted on for a long time. I could not possibly give her a gift during delivery you didiots. I plan on giving it to her a few weeks before the baby is born.
Chores, cleaning and stuff like that should not be a gift. It should be a complete understanding in that your wife will need you to pick up the slack.
I got her the watch because I want it to symbolize the start of our family as this is our first kid.
Got it morons. It not a materialistic thing like all of you are making out to be. Gifts can be thoughtful.
It's a longstanding tradition for a new father to give a gift to the child's mother. Not in all cultures, mind, but it's hardly unprecedented or horrifyingly offensive. (And no, doing something you should be doing anyway - like the chores right after delivery - doesn't count as a birth gift.) It's not some sort of "supplement" as though the new baby itself isn't enough - it's a gesture of appreciation and thanks.
The NYT, as is its custom with these arch lifestyle we-view-with-alarm articles, goes out of its way to obtain mercenary-sounding quotes and to frame the whole thing as disgusting, but that's the NYT for you.
Folks, don't forget that this article is engineered to do what many others do. Namely, they take the .01% that's behaving a certain way, write it up in a damning way, and implicitly imply that something is wrong with "everybody". It's in their interests to do this because it gets pageviews, gets people talking, and generates a lot of attention. And judging by the fact that I'm way down the comment list, it's been successful.
Don't fall for it!
jason
Jason, you are a wise man indeed!
Perhaps I should demand a present every time I perform a biological function related to reproduction. Every time I donate some swimmers to the cause, I get a CD, a new book, whatever.
Owait, that's prostitution.
What world are we living in where a woman DEMANDS a stupid trinket for giving birth to a child?
Yes, I'm sure it's painful.
Yes, their bodies may never be the same again.
No, I wouldn't want to do it.
But this is a natural process of nature. And a example of love between a couple.
My wife and I have three boys.
I gave her flowers and those foil "It's a boy!" balloons and she couldn't have been happier!!
Why? Because they were all HEALTHY.
And the money we were saving in a jar to go on vacation before she got pregnant?...didn't go to a stupid gift...it went to diapers and bottles and baby clothes.
As soon as you have kids, THEY come first. Whether you are the father or the mother.
Push present indeed!
Anyone who believes in this crap...
I'd like to present them with a push down the stairs!!
Shortly after they were born, I suffered a lapse in health and was clinically dead for 20 minutes, then spent 4 days in a coma.
I didn't demand a widescreen TV the minute I opened my eyes again.
I think men giving small, thoughtful, meaningful gifts after a child is born has been around for a LONG time. I did not expect it, or request it, but when our son was born my husband gave me a necklace with my birthstone and my son's set together. (Not very expensive) It was beautiful, thoughtful, and will be a "family" piece to pass on and cherish.
Obviously the negative comments mostly come from people who have never been pregnant nor given birth. It is a way of showing your appreciation and love to the woman who carried a child and went through the awful pain of childbirth. The swelling, the peeing every 5 minutes, the shortness of breath, the sciatic nerve pain, the waddling, the pressure, the hormones, the anxiety and feet digging into your ribs are just some of the wonderful things of pregnancy. I don't demand diamonds but a gift to say you appreciate me would make me feel awesome.
Giving your wife a gift after enduring 40 weeks of growing your child in her body and the pain of delivering it, is showing her that you appreciate her for all that she has done. It is a symbol of the love and respect that you have for her for going through the child birth process. Unless you have been through it, you could never imagine how physically and emotionally difficult it is. It is alarming that so many people feel so strongly against it. It sounds to me like a lot of the people against the gift giving is due to their lack of money (big daddy of 3). You can buy a gift that is within your budget, it is the meaning behind it that matters. Just because you cannot afford to buy an expensive gift for your wife when she gives birth doesn't mean you should resent the people that can. Why do the nice gestures of others offend you so much? I think any man who gives his wife a gift after giving birth, no matter how big or small, is wonderful. ANY MEN READING THIS -- TAKE THIS ADVICE FROM A MOTHER OF 2. BUY YOUR WIFE A GIFT -- IT WILL MAKE HER VERY HAPPY! AND IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT -- JEWELERY IS THE BEST CHOICE!
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